Fast Track the Lessons:– Start Learning to Love Better, Sooner!

Fast Track the Lessons

Start Learning to Love Better, Sooner!

I hope your week has been a meaningful one. As we embark on another week, I want to share a story that deeply resonated with me.

I recently sat down with a remarkable older woman who imparted some profound wisdom about her 45-year marriage. Her journey was not just filled with the usual trials of life, like financial struggles, but also emotional challenges that could push anyone to the brink. Yet, it was these very hurdles that shaped her and her marriage.

Real-Life Reflection: Should I Stay or Should I Go?

As a coach, I’ve seen marriages that, on the surface, might make anyone think, “Get out now!” Yet, through coaching, I’ve come to realize that with the exception of situations involving abuse or danger, the challenges in our marriages often offer us some of the greatest personalized growth possible. When things feel difficult, that’s often a sign that there’s something important to learn. When we own that, rather than pointing fingers, we can fast-track our learning and reach a place of enjoyment and fulfillment faster.

Leaving a marriage without doing our personal work rarely solves the deeper issues. We often bring unresolved patterns into the next relationship, but when we put our energy into making our current marriage a place of growth and love, we not only benefit personally, but we model accountability and the power of choice, teaching our children that with effort, they too can create lives they’re proud of. This work doesn’t just bless and heal us—

This Week’s Insight: Growth Can Come Through the Struggle

In her words, the early years were a constant battle. But retrospectively, she recognized how both she and her husband molded each other into their best selves. The last decade of their marriage, enriched by the lessons they had learned, was a testament to that growth. They traveled, laughed, and truly enjoyed each other's company.

This story is a powerful reminder that growth in relationships often comes from weathering storms together. In today's fast-paced world, where idealized portrayals of marriage dominate, it's essential to remember that the true value lies in what we learn from each other during tough times. 

Imagine what might have been possible if they had discovered ways to connect sooner. She did find the “beautiful” in the last 10 years—but what if they could have had even more beautiful years together?

Marriage Connection Challenge: Fast-Track Your Growth

For those facing challenges right now, consider the tools and strategies we explore here, tools that could transform years of struggle into decades of fulfillment. Why endure longer than necessary when small adjustments can bring about faster, better results?

Try these small actions to bring more connection into your relationship this week:

• Notice the Lesson in the Hard Moments – Instead of feeling stuck in frustration, take a pause and ask, “What could I learn here? What’s this teaching me about myself or my spouse?”

• Express Appreciation – Find one quality you appreciate in your spouse, even if things have been rough, and share it with them. Acknowledging strengths builds closeness.

• Take One Small Step Toward Peace – Is there a lingering conflict? Reach out, listen, or let go. Sometimes, the smallest gesture can bring a fresh start.

Here’s to building a marriage that brings you more peace, more love, and more happiness, sooner!