Do you ever feel guilty because you’re not as happy as you expected to be ?
Do you ever feel guilty because you’re not as happy as you expected to be ?
Have you ever reached a milestone, something you’ve worked hard for—perhaps in your marriage, your family, or personal growth—and found that it didn’t feel as fulfilling as you expected? Maybe you thought, “Once I get here, everything will be perfect,” but instead, it feels just a little… flat.
It’s normal to feel this way. We build up these moments in our minds, expecting them to deliver complete happiness. We achieve a goal, but then we realize there’s still work to be done. The journey didn’t end; it simply shifted to maintaining and growing what we’ve achieved.
In marriage, this can feel particularly challenging. You’ve got the loving partner, the wonderful children, and the life you’ve always wanted, but suddenly you catch yourself comparing your life to others. Maybe you see friends taking glamorous vacations, while you’re home navigating the daily duties of family life. It can make you question, “Why don’t I feel as happy as I thought I would?”
The truth is, the destination is not the reward. The magic happens when we engage fully in the present moment. When we stop expecting that reaching a certain point will bring us lasting joy, and instead, find the beauty in the now.
It’s tempting to believe that our husband, kids, or home will bring us happiness, but true happiness comes from within. We often think that once we achieve these milestones, we’ll feel complete, yet happiness is a skill we cultivate internally, not something granted by external achievements.
A powerful tool I offer is thought management. Our circumstances are neutral until we attach meaning through our thoughts. Choosing thoughts that foster love, safety, and value can transform our experience. Happiness in marriage doesn’t come from perfect circumstances but from the thoughts we choose that shape our reality.
Here’s the key:
focusing on the facts, not the stories our minds create. The facts are that you are in a loving relationship, raising a family, and nurturing the most important people in your life. But the stories—“I should be happier,” “Others have it better”—can cause unnecessary guilt and dissatisfaction.
By shifting our focus and using tools to stay grounded in the present, we can transform our family life from something that feels routine into something truly fulfilling. When we view our families as our greatest support system, and when we invest love, care, and service into these relationships, we unlock the potential for deeper happiness.
This week, I welcomed 30 new clients who are on their own journeys to find fulfillment in their marriages and family life. It’s a powerful reminder that we’re not alone in these feelings and that with the right mindset and tools, we can turn everyday moments into the most rewarding experiences.
Let’s embrace the present together, finding joy not in the destination but in the love, growth, and connection we cultivate every day.
Are you ready to find more beauty in your now?
Let’s work through this together.
